Sound Advice on Life (Pauley, Huffington), Shapiro & White’s Mindful Discipline, & More | Self-Help Reviews

SURVIVE AND THRIVE How to say the right thing in the best way, stay in the moment, and enjoy relationships with family and friends are all mindful goals to work toward. And let us not forget transformation takes time. This month’s self-help titles embrace a little of a whole lot: well-being, personal reinvention, dating tips, creativity, and the challenge of change in both big and small ways, to name a few. We can slow down and learn more about ourselves and others, and here are a variety of ideas and advice to help.

redstarO’Shea, Samara. Loves Me…Not: How To Survive (and Thrive!) in the Face of Unrequited Love. February Bks. 2014. 264p. bibliog. ISBN 9780984954384. pap. $19.95; ebk. ISBN 9780984954377. SELF-HELPLovesMenot041114

As one who has endured the torture and survived, O’Shea, a popular Huffington Post blogger, says that obsessive, unrequited love isn’t amour but rather an unhealthy obsession that’s better left behind. Like a good friend she understands the woes involved but shows how better-than-life fantasies and unrealistic expectations can interfere with real relationships. She warns against stalking, setting oneself up for rejection, or using someone else to get over a lost flame. O’Shea also spends a chapter on unrequited platonic love—companionships in which one person is overly critical or chronically unavailable or puts their “friend” in uncomfortable positions. VERDICT The author has insight to the inner psyche that readers will appreciate and her book offers sound advice.

Your Life CallingPauley, Jane. Your Life Calling: Reimagining the Rest of Your Life. S. & S. 2014. 250p. ISBN 9781476733760. $26; ebk. ISBN 9781476733791. SELF-HELP

Just in time to help baby boomers find themselves and their passions over again comes broadcast journalist Pauley with her own and others’ inspiring stories of making it in the second half of life. The good news, according to Pauley, is that people now have the opportunity to reinvent themselves, and there are many midlifers who have successfully managed to do that. One of the great things about a do-over is not only that it can help others but that it also involves being reintroduced to oneself. The opportunities are endless, and the examples Pauley provides are most stimulating. VERDICT A wonderful title for boomers, Generation Xers, and others who are interested in personal reinvention.

redstarShapiro, Shauna L. & Chris White. Mindful Discipline: A Loving Approach to Setting Limits and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. New Harbinger. Jun. 2014. 200p. bibliog. ISBN 9781608828845. pap. $16.95. self-help

Mindful DisciplineMindfulness expert Shapiro and pediatrician White describe a holistic system in which parents improve their child’s behavior and promote cooperation while at the same time fostering motivation, emotional intelligence, self-esteem, and resilience. The authors offer five elements of mindful discipline: unconditional love, space for children to be themselves, mentorship and transfer of values, and the admission of one’s own mistakes. The carefulness edge takes place, the authors say, when parents develop their own self-awareness and can adopt their child’s perspective. This enables the child to choose the best course of action based on the competing needs of the moment, instead of their own history. VERDICT Combining parenting skills with the practice of mindfulness is genius. Essential for anyone raising a family.

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The following titles are reviewed in this month's print issue.
Visit Book Verdict for the full reviews.

Alasko, Carl. Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication. Tarcher. 2014. 240p. ISBN 9781585429325. pap. $15.95; ebk. ISBN 9780698146563. SELF-HELP

Arnold, Caroline. Small Move, Big Change: Using Microresolutions To Transform Your Life Permanently. Penguin. 2014. 272p. ISBN 9780670015344. $27.95; ebk. ISBN 9781101620250. SELF-HELP

Barlow, David H. & others. 10 Steps to Mastering Stress: A Lifestyle Approach. Oxford Univ. 2014. 144p. ISBN 9780199917532. pap. $19.95; ebk. ISBN 9780199359080. SELF-HELP

Bennett, Sam. Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day. New World Lib. 2014. 240p. index. ISBN 9781608682102. pap. $15.95; ebk. ISBN 9781608682119. SELF-HELP

Eckel, Sara. It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single. Perigee. 2014. 208p. bibliog. ISBN 9780399162879. pap. $15; ebk. ISBN 9781101606438. SELF-HELP

Fogel, Steven Jay. Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living: Learning How To Make It Work for You. Greenleaf. 2014. 215p. bibliog. ISBN 9781626340589. pap. $15.95; ebk. ISBN 9781626340596. SELF-HELP

Huffington, Arianna. Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder. Harmony: Crown. 2014. 352p. ISBN 9780804140843. $26; ebk. ISBN 9780804140850. SELF-HELP

Spencer, Amy. The Happy Life Checklist: 654 Simple Ways To Find Your Bliss. Perigee. 2014. 240p. ISBN 9780399165566. pap. $15; ebk. ISBN 9781101625514. SELF-HELP

Willis, Claire B. Lasting Words: A Guide to Finding Meaning Toward the Close of Life. Green Writers. 2014. 140p. photos. ISBN 9780989983808. pap. $24.95; ebk. ISBN 9780989983815. SELF-HELP

Winning, Lisa & Carrie Henderson McDermott. He Texted: The Ultimate Guide to Dating in the Digital Era. Gallery. Apr. 2014. 260p. ISBN 9781476739229. $23; ebk. ISBN 9781476739298. SELF-HELP

Woolf, Emma. The Ministry of Thin: How the Pursuit of Perfection Got Out of Control. Soft Skull. Jun. 2014. 304p. ISBN 9781619023291. pap. $15.95. SELF-HELP


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